Break- ups come in all shapes and sizes; the break- ups we initiate, the break- ups we don’t see coming and the break- ups we both sense looming for a while.
Each come with their own set of emotions; regret, fear, anger, freedom, confusion, sadness, relief, bargaining, guilt and many more.
The idea of todays tranquil thought is to share some tips that may help you, to not only survive a break- up but come out the other side thriving.
Yep. You saw it coming, the age old words ‘time is a great healer.’ The end of a romantic relationship often means the loss of companionship, good times, romance, emotional and practical support along with the loss of the image you held of your future.
You need time to come to terms with these changes, feel them, go through the emotions that pop up. Don’t rush, take your time, be kind to yourself, offer yourself understanding and care.
2. Cut Contact
In time the two of you may become friends but for now, limit contact. Whatever the circumstances of your break- up its time to move forward and in order to start this journey you need clarity. Try your best not to contact them and ask them not to contact you, explain you need this space.
Also try to avoid scrolling through old pictures of the two of you together, re- reading old messages and avoid the temptation to head over to their Facebook for a quick ‘stalk.’
3. Don’t Rebound
As tempting as it may be to quickly fill the gap your ex has left behind, seeking out a new romantic relationship while you are still healing may prevent you from processing your pain. Also you could cause pain to the new person you bring into your life and to yourself, as you may find that you don’t fully commit to them.
So, as tempting as Tinder may look … avoid, avoid, avoid. It will still be there in a few months time when you’re in a better place.
4. Don’t Isolate Yourself
Reach out to your friends, family and support networks. There are people around you who care! People willing to distract you, get you out of the house or just sit and listen to how you’re feeling and what’s going on for you.
Reconnect with those around you, go outdoors, move your body, shop, top up your days as best you can. Consider counselling, the end of a relationship can sometimes be very overwhelming, the safe space of counselling may allow you to explore the questions and fears you’re afraid to explore elsewhere or alone.
5. Look After Yourself
Alongside connecting and finding activities you can get involved in, make time each day to be alone. Maybe run, meditate, journal; use this time alone to connect with yourself, ask yourself what you are feeling, how these emotions are shifting and changing and ask yourself ‘what do I need?’
Don’t beat yourself up, be vulnerable and use this time to care for yourself, offer yourself lots of compassion, forgive yourself and look for lessons and ways you can grow. Remember it’s ok to reach out for help or therapy to aid you on this journey.
6. New Start
As scary as it may be, your future may now look very different to how you have been imagining it. Acceptance is important, it’s time to recreate.
Look at areas of your life that you would like to change; strengthen your skills, reconnect with old friends, look for a new challenge, declutter and redecorate, whatever your heart desires.
You have reached the end of a chapter within your life story and its time to write a new one.
These tips are here to offer some focus to your new journey. Hopefully leading to some positive change. There is no magic spell that will take away the hurt and uncertainty of a break- up but time, honesty and self love will go a long way. Helping you to create a new you, a new reality, happiness and in time maybe a new love will enter your life.